"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing."
— Albert Schweitzer, (1875-1965)
Sometimes, no matter how much you want to change, change just seems to evade you. Perhaps it is willpower. Perhaps deep down, even subconsciously, you do not feel worthy of improvement, happiness, or success. Whatever the reason, something diverts you from your goals and change does not occur. What can you do then?
If becoming the best you can be for yourself just doesn't inspire you to succeed, then dedicate your change or improvement to someone else and do it for them. Find someone who can use a positive role model and who would benefit from seeing you take yourself and your life to the next level. They don't need to know that you are doing this for them. But keep that person, or group of people, in mind as you check your progress on a daily basis.
On your way to success you will be an inspiring example teaching others that they too can do the same as you.
*****
There is another side to finding someone you can be a role model for, and that is that most likely you already are a role model whether or not you know it. Someone out there is looking up to you to show them the best way to live life. I was often very surprised when certain individuals confessed to me that they did look up to me as an example. This was particularly surprising at times because in two cases I definitely believed that these people didn't even like me very much, let alone look up to me!
Most likely, you will not have to look far to find someone to dedicate a change of life to: children, relatives, co-workers, friends, neighbours. This list truly could go on and on.
And if you don't have difficulty in improving your life already, then know that there is a bonus to the whole process, you too will be influencing and inspiring others with the wonderful life you are creating for yourself.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Every moment is special
"If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves."
— Maria Edgeworth, O Magazine, April 2004
Think back over the last week. How many moments were significant enough that you will remember them right now, or in a week, or in a month, a year, or even five years from now? Most of the time we are so busy surviving life that we let each moment slip by relatively unnoticed. In this rushed pace of living we also tend to take the people in our lives for granted, forget why we are really doing what we are doing, and don't even sacrifice a moment of time to be thankful for all that we have right now right here in front of us.
Time is a precious gift. Start living every moment in a more conscious light and you will begin to see how ordinary moments in your life are truly extraordinary. When you discover a particular moment in time that you want to treasure for years to come, stop and truly take it in. Allow yourself to stay in the experience, even just mentally, for a little longer than usual to notice what is so special about the moment. Soon you will be well on your way to building a mountain of wonderful memories of all the special moments in your life.
*****
As a mother of two, fast-growing kids, this message is especially important to me. Every day that goes by is another day of fantastic new discoveries and development for them. If I am so busy with my work or my stresses, am I going to miss out on these special days of growing up? Absolutely. It has already happened.
But I have also learned that it is never too late to start taking in the moments with them. I treasure each helping hand in the garden I get. Or an impromtu game of football toss. Even the morning walks to school full of laughter and silliness have now been embedded into my head. These moments are far too special to me to let slip away in the mass of neverending to-do lists and work. Once my children are grown up, I will have the joy of looking back on all these consciously stored memories and moments in our ever-changing lives.
— Maria Edgeworth, O Magazine, April 2004
Think back over the last week. How many moments were significant enough that you will remember them right now, or in a week, or in a month, a year, or even five years from now? Most of the time we are so busy surviving life that we let each moment slip by relatively unnoticed. In this rushed pace of living we also tend to take the people in our lives for granted, forget why we are really doing what we are doing, and don't even sacrifice a moment of time to be thankful for all that we have right now right here in front of us.
Time is a precious gift. Start living every moment in a more conscious light and you will begin to see how ordinary moments in your life are truly extraordinary. When you discover a particular moment in time that you want to treasure for years to come, stop and truly take it in. Allow yourself to stay in the experience, even just mentally, for a little longer than usual to notice what is so special about the moment. Soon you will be well on your way to building a mountain of wonderful memories of all the special moments in your life.
*****
As a mother of two, fast-growing kids, this message is especially important to me. Every day that goes by is another day of fantastic new discoveries and development for them. If I am so busy with my work or my stresses, am I going to miss out on these special days of growing up? Absolutely. It has already happened.
But I have also learned that it is never too late to start taking in the moments with them. I treasure each helping hand in the garden I get. Or an impromtu game of football toss. Even the morning walks to school full of laughter and silliness have now been embedded into my head. These moments are far too special to me to let slip away in the mass of neverending to-do lists and work. Once my children are grown up, I will have the joy of looking back on all these consciously stored memories and moments in our ever-changing lives.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Feel good about who you are
"When we feel great about who we are, we radiate an undeniable magnetic energy that attracts to us all the things we desire."
—Debbie Ford, The Best Year of Your LIfe
Having high self-esteem is probably the most important requirement in achieving success, obtaining what you want in life, and simply living the best life you could possibly live. Too often we are lead to believe that we can feel good or better by obtaining things outside ourselves — money, status, respect from others. This often means we neglect and minimize the importance of how we feel inside.
As long as we continue to feel shame, judgment, doubt about who we are, happiness and success will not find their ways to us as we run around trying to fill the void with things outside ourselves. When we have the courage to love and respect who we are, both perfect and imperfect, we automatically feel deserving enough to have it all.
*****
Until you make an honest assessment of how you feel about yourself deep down — the behaviours, the habits, the choices you make on a regular basis that diminish your sense of self — you will not be able to find that "true" happiness you read about and hear about all the time. Take the time to evaluate how you can counter your self-defeating choices and thoughts. Write down new actions that would elevate your sense of worth and help you to start feeling good about who you are, exactly as you are.
—Debbie Ford, The Best Year of Your LIfe
Having high self-esteem is probably the most important requirement in achieving success, obtaining what you want in life, and simply living the best life you could possibly live. Too often we are lead to believe that we can feel good or better by obtaining things outside ourselves — money, status, respect from others. This often means we neglect and minimize the importance of how we feel inside.
As long as we continue to feel shame, judgment, doubt about who we are, happiness and success will not find their ways to us as we run around trying to fill the void with things outside ourselves. When we have the courage to love and respect who we are, both perfect and imperfect, we automatically feel deserving enough to have it all.
*****
Until you make an honest assessment of how you feel about yourself deep down — the behaviours, the habits, the choices you make on a regular basis that diminish your sense of self — you will not be able to find that "true" happiness you read about and hear about all the time. Take the time to evaluate how you can counter your self-defeating choices and thoughts. Write down new actions that would elevate your sense of worth and help you to start feeling good about who you are, exactly as you are.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Be true to who you are
Be true to who you are
"I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings."
— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
As difficult as it may be to listen only to your inner self, allowing yourself to be guided by others opinions of you, either good or bad, will leave you feeling like you are the rope in a game of tug-o-war.
Follow your heart and you will never go astray for it will always be true to you.
*******
This was a difficult one for me to get when I was feeling low and down about myself. If someone were to pay me a compliment or praise me, I let their feelings, whether genuine or not, replace my doubts about myself. Now that might sound ok on the surface. I was able to pull myself out of the blues, right? Well, not really, because it wasn't my feelings about myself. I didn't truly feel worthy of those compliments and therefore was not able to rely on my own feelings to feel good again. That meant in order to feel good about myself, I had to rely on outsiders to pump me up.
The other danger was that if someone said something negative about me, I also really took that to heart. I then found myself feeling low again and not knowing how to get out of it myself.
In order to avoid this pulling and tugging up and down, I had to finally realize that the opinions of others, even the good ones, should not define who I am or how I feel about myself. I had to find my balance and stay there no matter what. And the key to staying in balance is to love yourself exactly as you are. Change is good, but true change in your life will only happen, and stay, when you love yourself enough to accept that you deserve to have the life you want, exactly like you want it.
"I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings."
— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
As difficult as it may be to listen only to your inner self, allowing yourself to be guided by others opinions of you, either good or bad, will leave you feeling like you are the rope in a game of tug-o-war.
Follow your heart and you will never go astray for it will always be true to you.
*******
This was a difficult one for me to get when I was feeling low and down about myself. If someone were to pay me a compliment or praise me, I let their feelings, whether genuine or not, replace my doubts about myself. Now that might sound ok on the surface. I was able to pull myself out of the blues, right? Well, not really, because it wasn't my feelings about myself. I didn't truly feel worthy of those compliments and therefore was not able to rely on my own feelings to feel good again. That meant in order to feel good about myself, I had to rely on outsiders to pump me up.
The other danger was that if someone said something negative about me, I also really took that to heart. I then found myself feeling low again and not knowing how to get out of it myself.
In order to avoid this pulling and tugging up and down, I had to finally realize that the opinions of others, even the good ones, should not define who I am or how I feel about myself. I had to find my balance and stay there no matter what. And the key to staying in balance is to love yourself exactly as you are. Change is good, but true change in your life will only happen, and stay, when you love yourself enough to accept that you deserve to have the life you want, exactly like you want it.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Simplify Your Life
A simple life
"Live simply so that others may simply live."
— Gandhi
When he said to "live simply" did he mean live a life of poverty, give up your worldly goods, etc.? I don't believe so. But these days it seems to become harder and harder to get our minds around how to live simply. What I think it means is to live a life that doesn't overwhelm you. If you find that your life is so complicated and busy that you don't even know who you truly are anymore, it might be an indication that your life needs simplification.
Simplification might also mean learning to say "no" to some of the requests that are placed on you. We are taught to give and and help others, and that is all very good and true. But if you have nothing left of yourself or no time left to give to yourself, how can you keep giving to others?
Slow down, step back, examine your days and your routines. How much of it do you really feel is necessary to keep on the schedule? When you give yourself the gift of simplifying your life, you will actually be giving others the gift of a more complete (and mentally sane) you.
"Live simply so that others may simply live."
— Gandhi
When he said to "live simply" did he mean live a life of poverty, give up your worldly goods, etc.? I don't believe so. But these days it seems to become harder and harder to get our minds around how to live simply. What I think it means is to live a life that doesn't overwhelm you. If you find that your life is so complicated and busy that you don't even know who you truly are anymore, it might be an indication that your life needs simplification.
Simplification might also mean learning to say "no" to some of the requests that are placed on you. We are taught to give and and help others, and that is all very good and true. But if you have nothing left of yourself or no time left to give to yourself, how can you keep giving to others?
Slow down, step back, examine your days and your routines. How much of it do you really feel is necessary to keep on the schedule? When you give yourself the gift of simplifying your life, you will actually be giving others the gift of a more complete (and mentally sane) you.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
NEW — Daily Inspiration Feedback
When I become inspired on a specific quote or message for the day, there is often much more behind the inspiration than I am able to include in the daily e-mail inspiration. Now with the addition of this blogger, you can read more about the inspiration or even comment for others to read your opinion on it as well. I hope this new addition to Real Life Changes will help us share our stories to help others. We have to remember that we are not alone in our daily struggles. Most of us have been through the same difficult situations at some point in our life or will go through them some time in the future. Let us all be there for one another so that we can all inspire some wonderful Real Life Changes.
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