Do you find that you keep having the same problems crop up in your life? Some say that they keep getting in the same bad relationships, just with different people. For others, they always find the lousy jobs. Do you keep gaining weight no matter what you do. It can even be found in patterns of illness that keep arising.
Life sends us teachers in all different forms. And life will keep sending the teachers until we learn the lesson that was attached to the challenge. If you find yourself in a loop cycle, shift your perspective so that you can see the lessons in the situation. Then you will be freed from the same repeating patterns that have challenged you in the past and you will be ready to face new, evolutionary challenges appropriate for your current stage in life.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Let yourself be present to your emotions
"What if, instead of 'reframing' my emotions, I simply welcomed them and allowed them to be fully felt? I wonder if I might find this peace she is speaking about in the core of the feeling?"
— Brandon Bays, The Journey
What an interesting concept. Not only does Brandon Bays suggest that you accept your emotions, but she actually believes that we should welcome all our emotions and feel them completely. These days you hear everything from changing your negative thoughts to positive ones, do whatever you can to avoid the emotions, or even recommendations to take drugs to numb the feelings.
It has been on my journey of self-discovery that I have discovered that nothing is what it seems at the surface level. All the emotions I have been working through to get to my best me has proven that my first surface, impression was usually inaccurate. My anger wasn't just anger, it was fear. My self-destructive thoughts were actually there to show me that I lacked self-confidence. I could go on and on.
Once you allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, but not wallow in them or dump them on someone else, you can start to peal away the layers that have been building up on the original feeling. Sometimes you will even discover that your present breakdowns have more to do with a past emotional hurt than with the trigger event that brought the feelings up in the present moment.
— Brandon Bays, The Journey
What an interesting concept. Not only does Brandon Bays suggest that you accept your emotions, but she actually believes that we should welcome all our emotions and feel them completely. These days you hear everything from changing your negative thoughts to positive ones, do whatever you can to avoid the emotions, or even recommendations to take drugs to numb the feelings.
It has been on my journey of self-discovery that I have discovered that nothing is what it seems at the surface level. All the emotions I have been working through to get to my best me has proven that my first surface, impression was usually inaccurate. My anger wasn't just anger, it was fear. My self-destructive thoughts were actually there to show me that I lacked self-confidence. I could go on and on.
Once you allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, but not wallow in them or dump them on someone else, you can start to peal away the layers that have been building up on the original feeling. Sometimes you will even discover that your present breakdowns have more to do with a past emotional hurt than with the trigger event that brought the feelings up in the present moment.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Voice your fears
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I just had a talk with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn't know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.
Well, a little self-probing I realized that it wasn't making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step farther, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn't around, so that if I said something stupid, he wouldn't know about it and couldn't criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion.
After talking it through with him (with many emotions coming to the surface) I was able to see that one of my biggest challenges in this lifetime was cropping up again — I care way too much what people think about me, both positively and negatively. Once I voiced it, I was able to let it go, make the phone calls and move on. But not without consciously noting my lesson for future reference; Nothing and no one can give me the love of self that I seek. I cannot get it from a career, relationship, family, or material possession. I am all that I need to find this love and no one can take it away from me either.
And just remember to speak out your fears. When you let them roam about in your mind, they have a tendency to grow to something much bigger than they really are. Once you voice them aloud, you will find the wisdom within you to set them free.
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I just had a talk with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn't know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.
Well, a little self-probing I realized that it wasn't making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step farther, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn't around, so that if I said something stupid, he wouldn't know about it and couldn't criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion.
After talking it through with him (with many emotions coming to the surface) I was able to see that one of my biggest challenges in this lifetime was cropping up again — I care way too much what people think about me, both positively and negatively. Once I voiced it, I was able to let it go, make the phone calls and move on. But not without consciously noting my lesson for future reference; Nothing and no one can give me the love of self that I seek. I cannot get it from a career, relationship, family, or material possession. I am all that I need to find this love and no one can take it away from me either.
And just remember to speak out your fears. When you let them roam about in your mind, they have a tendency to grow to something much bigger than they really are. Once you voice them aloud, you will find the wisdom within you to set them free.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Misunderstandings
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
— Peter Drucker
Assuming is a dangerous tactic. While it may seem that you know what is going on in a situation in your own mind, it is shocking to find out how wrong we can be at times. We allow our egos and emotions to take over the thinking process.
During a conversation I had the other day with my husband, it was almost amusing in the end how much we both had assumed and how little we were actually listening to each other. It started with my husband thinking that he knew what I was thinking. Then when he stated what he thought I was thinking, I misunderstood and assumed he was saying something to purposely hurt my feelings.
Simply put, we were both wrong and it took quite a bit of talking it out to figure it all out. Thankfully we were willing and able to talk it out to settle the misunderstanding before it went any further. But it was quite an eye-opener. How easy it is to misunderstand someone else. We get into the habit of thinking we know the other person so well because we have been together for so long. And for the most part, that is very true. But throw in some dangerous ego play, some past emotional hurts, you will soon discover chaos reigns.
Once again, communication is the key. Clear and concise without any room for assumptions. Even with those we think we know so well.
— Peter Drucker
Assuming is a dangerous tactic. While it may seem that you know what is going on in a situation in your own mind, it is shocking to find out how wrong we can be at times. We allow our egos and emotions to take over the thinking process.
During a conversation I had the other day with my husband, it was almost amusing in the end how much we both had assumed and how little we were actually listening to each other. It started with my husband thinking that he knew what I was thinking. Then when he stated what he thought I was thinking, I misunderstood and assumed he was saying something to purposely hurt my feelings.
Simply put, we were both wrong and it took quite a bit of talking it out to figure it all out. Thankfully we were willing and able to talk it out to settle the misunderstanding before it went any further. But it was quite an eye-opener. How easy it is to misunderstand someone else. We get into the habit of thinking we know the other person so well because we have been together for so long. And for the most part, that is very true. But throw in some dangerous ego play, some past emotional hurts, you will soon discover chaos reigns.
Once again, communication is the key. Clear and concise without any room for assumptions. Even with those we think we know so well.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Trust in yourself and the universe
"Though I didn't know where to begin, I felt this constant, insistent inner knowing that somehow I would be guided. So, all I could do was TRUST."
— Brandon Bays, The Journey
How much do you trust yourself, trust your instincts? Maybe when things are going well, it's a little easier to feel like you know what you are doing and you feel in control. But when things go wrong, what then? Do you question your thoughts, your decisions?
My advice — let go. Let go of trying to control the situation and figuring out the exact direction you need to be taking. Often you will have a flood of emotions taking over your senses during stressful or trying times that don't allow you to "think" it through. So the best course of action is to let it come to you.
Trust that the right answers will come your way. Trust that the answers that your head thinks are not right, might be right. Sometimes your life path might not be what you chiseled out in stone long ago or promised yourself when you were a little child. You just don't know it yet, but you will be guided to the right path for you at the right time for you if you just let go.
— Brandon Bays, The Journey
How much do you trust yourself, trust your instincts? Maybe when things are going well, it's a little easier to feel like you know what you are doing and you feel in control. But when things go wrong, what then? Do you question your thoughts, your decisions?
My advice — let go. Let go of trying to control the situation and figuring out the exact direction you need to be taking. Often you will have a flood of emotions taking over your senses during stressful or trying times that don't allow you to "think" it through. So the best course of action is to let it come to you.
Trust that the right answers will come your way. Trust that the answers that your head thinks are not right, might be right. Sometimes your life path might not be what you chiseled out in stone long ago or promised yourself when you were a little child. You just don't know it yet, but you will be guided to the right path for you at the right time for you if you just let go.
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