Voice your fears

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
— Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

When you say what you fear out loud, you will often find how ridiculous, or inaccurate, or inappropriate it is for your life. I just had a talk with my husband about one of the fears holding me back from making some simple phone calls. I had to call some people that I didn't know in order to set up an interview time with them. In my mind I knew that this was no big deal for me to do. I have definitely done more challenging tasks or assignments. So what was holding me back? Why was I so afraid to just make these calls? I had been procrastinating for over two weeks now, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I should put it off until the next day.

Well, a little self-probing I realized that it wasn't making the phone calls that was posing the problem, but making the phone calls with my husband within earshot. I was fearing his judgment or criticism of me and my ability to call up strangers to book an interview. No wait, take it a step farther, I was afraid he would think that I am not as competent as I always lead him to believe. I wanted to make the calls when he wasn't around, so that if I said something stupid, he wouldn't know about it and couldn't criticize me. So really, I was fearing being criticized by someone who I really respect and value their opinion.

After talking it through with him (with many emotions coming to the surface) I was able to see that one of my biggest challenges in this lifetime was cropping up again — I care way too much what people think about me, both positively and negatively. Once I voiced it, I was able to let it go, make the phone calls and move on. But not without consciously noting my lesson for future reference; Nothing and no one can give me the love of self that I seek. I cannot get it from a career, relationship, family, or material possession. I am all that I need to find this love and no one can take it away from me either.

And just remember to speak out your fears. When you let them roam about in your mind, they have a tendency to grow to something much bigger than they really are. Once you voice them aloud, you will find the wisdom within you to set them free.