You are not the emotion

"Men decide far more problems by hate, love, lust, rage, sorrow, joy, hope, fear, illusion, or some other inward emotion, than by reality, authority, any legal standard, judicial precedent, or statute."
— Cicero (106 - 43 BC)

Take a look around at a child that falls down. What is the first thing they do? They look up to see if anyone saw them fall. If no one is around, they get up and keep going like nothing happened. If there is someone there, the tears start to fall and the drama begins. But usually, you can give that "boo-boo" a kiss and once again they will be up and running around having fun.

Adults unfortunately have forgotten what it is like to let go of their emotions once they are done with them. Do you catch yourself saying things like, "I am sad" or "I am angry"? In others words you ARE the emotion, not just a person experiencing the emotion. What we should be saying is "I feel sad" or "I feel angry". This allows for you to observe the emotion but not become the emotion. It will also allow the emotion to roll off you once you are done "playing" with it.

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The other funny thing about emotions is that sometimes the more you get caught up in them, the harder it is to remember why you were having the emotion in the first place. If you become so involved or concerned about having a drama scene instead of having an emotional experience, you most likely will not benefit from anything the emotion could teach you in the first place. Emotions are not the bad guys in this picture. It is simply how we choose to use the emotions that can end up all wrong.

When you find yourself stuck in an old emotion, picture it as a stone in your fist. Squeeze it hard and for a long time. As you notice how uncomfortable it becomes also notice how normal it feels to have this uncomfortable sensation. Now open your hand, roll the stone around and see that it is not a part of your body. Then take the big step and let it roll right out of your hand. It's that easy. Your hand doesn't need to keep squeezing it even though it has gotten used to holding it tight. You are not the emotion.