Real Life Updates

“Even the fear of death is nothing compared to the fear of not having
lived authentically and fully.”
— Frances Moore Lappe, O Magazine, May 2004

At this time of year, we are making more efforts than at any other time
of year to make contact with friends and family. One way of doing this
is through Christmas letters and cards. I love to receive updates from
long-distance relatives and friends because it makes the distance
between us seem shorter.

My sister-in-law is particularly good at writing her letters every year
and what I love most about her letters is that they are real. She tells
it how it really was — tough times and good times. She doesn’t go into
the really messy details of her life, but I know that everyday can’t be
perfect. We all have our difficult moments, but we also make it through
to see much better days as well.

So try to keep your updates as real as possible, too. As Sarah ban
Breathnach reminds us in Simple Abundance, “Just remember that your
family and friends don’t live edited lives. You needn’t either.”

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!

Being thankful

"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more
than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes
rich."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

After this holiday season, it may seem like we have given a great deal
to others. And perhaps in return, you were fortunate enough to be on
the receiving end as well.

In addition to all sorts of wonderful material presents, there is much
more that we receive everyday that we should remember and for which we
should be grateful. Remember the love and kindness we receive each day
from those closest to us as well as the gentle strangers passing
through our lives.

It is through these reminders on a daily basis that we truly can
appreciate how rich we are no matter what our financial situation is at
present.

Giving

“If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a
single meal pass without sharing it in some way.”
— Buddha (563 BC - 483 BC)

The holiday season brings giving to the forefront of people’s minds.
Carefully (or not so carefully) we select out the gifts for each person
on our list. Some are gifts to show our love. Some are gifts to fulfill
our obligations. Some gifts are given to help those in need.

This year try to see each gift you give as a surge of good “karmic”
energy into your life. Every time we give it will direct more abundance
and goodness to you and those you love.

Stress-free holidays

Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount
of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give
yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it's right, I
guarantee that your entire body will feel it.
— Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, October 2002

As the end of the year creeps closer, the little and big stresses of
the holiday season seem to be leaking into our daily lives. So we are
doing what makes the most sense to us, going away somewhere warm!

But, if you are staying home and looking forward to having family and
friends nearby, here are some suggestions to get a head start
on the season and make it as stress free as possible from Simple
Abundance for coping with stress:

Cultivate gratitude
Begin the day with prayer, meditation, reflection
Keep it simple
Don’t over schedule
Strive for realistic deadlines
Never make a promise you can’t keep
Breathe deeply and often
Drink pure spring water — lots of it (Side note: My trick is to
have four 500 ml bottles of water on my desk and I make sure
I drink them all before the end of the day – that is the minimum
amount needed! Put a couple of more in there if you work out that day.)
Eat only when hungry
If it’s not delicious, don’t eat it
Laugh more often
If you don’t love it, live without it
Don’t answer the telephone during dinner
Stop trying to please everyone
Start pleasing yourself
Stay away from negative people
Nurture friendships
Set achievable goals
Create boundaries
Express love every day

What is your mindset?

"Briefly, your mindset is the combination of your experiences, values,
beliefs, self-image, attitudes and habits that are lodged in your
unconscious mind. They determine every action and every result you
have in your life."
— James Arthur Ray

Your mindset is completely unconscious, and yet it is what drives all
your actions and results in your life. As James Ray points out, there
has been much talk about mindsets in the last ten years, however, very
few people know what they are and even less know how to address and
change them.

Success in change comes by dealing with the foundational cause in your
mindset. This means that even if you have the knowledge or the skills
to live a better or more successful life, if the underlying mindset
doesn't support that knowledge, change will not occur.

I am not suggesting that skills and knowledge are not important because
they are. But you can only utilize them if they are laid upon a firm
foundation of winning thought. This is much more than just motivation,
affirmations, or "positive thinking." If you want to change or improve
your results, you must change and improve yourself at the root or
causal level — your mindset! Long-term success is not just about
acquiring new skills ... it's about shifting your mindset.

Personal Integrity

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going
to know whether you did it or not.”
—Oprah Winfrey (1954 - )

Be true to yourself and live your life with integrity. This has been a
message that keeps popping up in my subconscious mind these days. So
what does it mean exactly? What is your truth and personal integrity in
day to day life? For most of us it is just a way of being. A way we
have always lived our lives. It’s not something that one has to even
really think about.

However, I have had to do some real soul searching to realize that I
have not always lived by being true to myself and living with
integrity. I didn’t always have well defined boundaries. I did what I
thought was best at the time for me, but that didn’t always include
what was best for everyone around me. This is a difficult realization
to make. But it was an important one for me to admit to myself so that
I could change my path.

These days I know that I am consciously and subconsciously doing the
right thing, even if no one else knows it — and even if no one else
believes it. And that is the point. It is for me alone to know because
that is the life I want to live.

What is your life purpose?

“For your life path to be fulfilling, passionate and joyous it requires
a connection between you and your spirit, from inside. It requires
connection with your body, mind, heart, and soul, and a courageous
willingness to express on the on the outside what is true for you on
the inside.”
— Janet Amare, Soul Purpose

A life purpose. I believe that we all have a very specific purpose for
our life. Most people get caught up in what their egos tell them they
should accomplish: fame, fortune, power, acceptance, etc. But even
those who have accomplished all of that sometimes come to realize there
is more to life. My daughter’s favorite actor, Will Smith, feels that
he is here to do more than entertain and make a fortune. He doesn’t
know what it is yet. But he is keeping his eyes open for all the clues
to present themselves.

Usually to find the real answers to “Why am I here?” you have to look
past what you do for a living. Your search must begin from the inside.
Understand in your exploration that your life purpose is more about
“being” something than “doing” something. Then you must follow the path
that your heart sets before you. It may take years of deep inner “soul”
searching before you find the true path to fulfilling your life
purpose, but every step you make along the way will take you a step
closer to the answer.

More on Miracles

"Miracles are natural; when they don't occur, something has gone wrong."
— A Course in Miracles

How many people believe in miracles? It seems sometimes that it is a
lost art in our world of technology and facts. Somewhere along the way,
through our schooling or our working, we get the impression that we
need to be in control of everything that happens, we need to understand
how everything happens.

One of my favorite movies, "Shakespeare in Love", has a character who
tells people who are worried about their outcome that "Somehow it will
work out." After when they question him about how he knew in the end
that all would be well, he simply replied, "It's a mystery!"

Reach out to that part of you that wants to believe in miracles. Have
faith that they do occur and that they should occur. And enjoy watching
the world through a new set of eyes as Einstein liked to observe,
"There are only two ways to look at life: One is as if nothing is a
miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle." Once you allow
this way of thinking into your life you will see how they show up
wherever you go.

The Money Mind Game

"Rich people think differently from poor and middle-class people. They
think differently about money, wealth, themselves, other people, and
pretty well every other facet of life." — Harv Eker.

Now this may seem like a very big generalization at first glance. And
for the most part it is. But Harv Eker is not saying that rich people
are better, he is just saying that they "think" differently.

Did any of you watch Oprah the other day when they featured the
documentary, Reversal of Fortune by filmmaker Wayne Powers, where
cameras follow Ted Rodrigue, a 45-year-old who has been periodically
homeless for the last 20 years? The question examined was what would
happen if one person actually was able to give someone $100,000 and the
free will to do with it what they wanted to do? Would that turn their
life around or would it create more problems?

Turns out that Ted's "financial blueprint", as Harv Eker would describe
it, was not easy to let go of even though he received financial
counseling to deal with his influx of money. He got a room but
continued to sleep on the floor. He still collected cans and bottles,
the primary way he'd survived for years. Ted says he not only spent or
gave away all $100,000, he actually owes more money now than he did
before.

The money game involves so much more than financial savy. It is about
the way you think about yourself, how you think about others, what are
your core beliefs about your life. If you are curious about your own
financial blueprint, do yourself a favor and start by reading Harv
Eker's book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And then you can take it
one step further by attending one of his great seminars which really
can bring your blueprint to the table for you to rework as needed.

Small Gestures Equal Great Kindness

"When you are kind to someone in trouble, you hope they'll remember and
be kind to someone else. And it'll become like a wildfire."
— Whoopi Goldberg.

If you're financially well-off and can afford to give to worthy causes,
you are among the very fortunate. If you are still doing your best to
get to that place but not quite there yet, there are other ways to
share and contribute.

A smile, a loving touch or an acknowledgement of the unique qualities
in another, are simple gestures that lift spirits. If you want to do
more, how about starting a non-profit organization, volunteering your
time and talents (take a look at the great video we donated to
Grandview Children's Centre http://www.grtc.ca ), or helping in your
immediate neighborhood?

Many charitable organizations are always looking for volunteers. You
could be a Big Sister or Brother, or spend time with elderly or
terminally ill people. If you love animals, your local animal shelter
or one of the many wildlife preservation associations are good places
to look for meaningful work. There are truly limitless options that
require nothing more than a willingness to open your heart and extend
yourself. Giving creates a ripple effect, touching the lives of others
in more ways than we can imagine.

Keeping calm

“If you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized
happiness.”
— Julie-Jeanne-Eleonore de Lespinasse, O Magazine, October 2002

At this time of year it seems that I have a difficult time finding a
peaceful moment for myself. Whether it is the pressures of putting
together another wonderful Holiday Season full of perfect festivities
and foods. Or whether it is getting some work done while the kids are
home sick from school. Keeping calm becomes a task in itself.

If time is not a thing working in your favour try to do at least one
simple thing for yourself — just keep breathing! Take a few moments
throughout the day to take some deep, conscious breaths. It is quite
amazing how simply getting some oxygen to your brain can help keep you
calm.

Also, try to keep in mind that nothing is so important that you can’t
take even a few minutes break for yourself. If you have a difficult
time convincing yourself of that, let me give you the permission to do
so and call it your mental health moment.

By the way, sorry this was late — I was taking my mental health moment
this morning!

As easy as 1 - 2 - 3 — Think. Feel. Act.

"The more clear and definite you make your picture then,and the more
you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the
stronger your desire will be, and the stronger your desire, the easier
it will be to hold your mind fixed upon the picture of what you want."
— Wallace D. Wattles

Did any of you watch Larry King the other night when some of the
experts from "The Secret" were there to discuss "Beyond Positive
Thinking"? I have heard some strange comments about the show. Some
downright negative and shall I say jealous comments in response to the
experts that were selected to speak and their respective messages.

So I feel compelled to speak on their behalf and explain that
unfortunately, TV can distort reality. The panel of experts each had a
few seconds to explain the concept of the Law of Attraction. And even
though I got it (because I already know the concept from my own
studies) I admit the message may have been lost in translation.

So here is the concept boiled down to the basics as explained by James
Arthur Ray (one of the experts on the panel): The Law of Attraction can
be summed up as 1. Think. 2. Feel. 3. Act. No one said you just "think
positively" and your life will turn around. They clearly indicated that
you must also feel the thought as if it already existed (in other words
you can think of an elephant, and an elephant won't magically appear in
your living room -- there's more to it than your thought alone). Then
you must act upon your thoughts and feelings. You can sit in your
living room meditating (thinking and feeling) about your life changing,
nothing will happen until you get up and start doing something about
it!

Trust your body... because your mind can lie.

“Intuition is the supra-logic that cuts out all the routine processes
of thought and leaps straight from the problem to the answer.”
— Robert Graves

Be in your body because it is where intuition lives. In our busy lives,
many of us typically function only with our heads. This is actually
very counterintuitive and tends to cut off our vital energy flow and
may not lead us in the right direction.

Take a moment to reconnect with yourself, with your body. Your body has
wisdom and sends you messages regularly. Your mind is important, but
sometimes it is so busy it forgets to check in and see how the body is
responding.

When making a decision, notice your body's signals. Do you feel
energized? Comfortable? Is your breathing effortless? Your gut calm?
Are your shoulders loose? Or do you have a sick feeling in your
stomach? A lump in your throat? In all your choices, tuning in to what
your body says is a naturally given gift for keeping on track with your
higher self.

Living Thanks

"You see, when you're grateful for what you currently have in your
life, it focuses you on the best. And that puts you in a vibration
(feeling) to attract and receive more of the best. When you have a lack
of gratitude in your life, you're focusing on the worst, and that puts
you in a vibrational feeling that attracts to you more of the worst."
— James Arthur Ray

This is a great time of year to focus on what you are thankful for in
your life. And then continue the habit to create a lifestyle of living
thanks.

Why? Well, when you think about a person, other than you of course, who
is constantly ungrateful. Perhaps they complain a lot and talk about
their problems, their aches and pains. Do you want to be around them
for long? How about helping them? Well, if life is anything like the
corporate office, you would duck behind the desk dividers when you see
that person coming.

On the other side of the coin, you have someone completely different.
They are grateful and appreciative for all they have in life. When they
ask for a favor, are you wanting to help them? Probably, because they
are also the ones that are there for you when you need a helping hand.

So this holiday season, start a new trend in your life, if you haven't
already, and focus on everything you are grateful for every day.

Perseverance

“I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to
persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”
—Christopher Reeve

Another inspirational quote comes from Thomas Edison and his efforts in
inventing the light bulb: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000
ways that won’t work.” Imagine if he had given up after the first 100
attempts? Or even 1,000? Thankfully, perseverance won out and he
succeeded in achieving his goal.

DECIDING to change is the first step in a healing journey. The second
step is BELIEVING that you can change. The third step is putting a very
strong WHY behind your decision to change. The forth is ACTION — taking
the necessary steps to move you closer to your goals. Now, here is the
fifth important step — PERSEVERE.

Don’t give up. Keep your goals in sight and keep going until you get
there. For every setback, just realize that you’ve discovered one more
way how you won’t get to your goal — and then move on to find your
success.

Respecting the individual

"We must respect the body as an individual planet. No person should try
to own another. We should assign ourselves to assist and to help one
another, but never try to own or possess. Jealousy is a deadly disease
which disintegrates the body."
— "Mr. A", in Born to Heal by Ruth Montgomery

There seems to be some confusion over what jealousy is really all
about. Some seem to believe that it has everything to do with loving
someone. But when jealousy enters into a relationship, anger is soon to
follow. Anger and fear are two of the greatest emotional setbacks a
person can experience. They can actually make a person sick by drawing
out all the energy from the body where it is needed to maintain optimum
health and placing it into the negative emotion instead.

Think back to any of your relationships, past or present, that
entertained jealousy on either side. How well did the relationship do?
Did it survive? Did it blossom? More than likely it did not. Jealously
drains the soul and depleats any love that may have been there in the
first place.

Remember the Law of Attraction: like attracts like. If you are a
loving, giving, and respectful person in a relationship, you will
attract the same in your partner. Focus on respecting the individual in
yourself and in your partner and you will see your love grow.

I understand

“It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked,
through understanding.”
—Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

Every now and then we have to deal with a person that seems to ooze
with anger. They make our lives miserable with their harsh words or
constant complaints. And often, this behaviour makes us either want
nothing to do with that person, or we want to let out a few harsh words
of our own to set them straight.

However, this situation can be viewed from another side. What if we
were to say to this person, “I understand” — how you feel, how you are
hurt, how you feel alone, how you are scared. Anger is usually a mask
for many other vulnerable emotions that we don’t want to have to face.

Reaching out with some kind words of understanding is probably the last
thing that the angry person would expect to receive, but what a
wonderful gift we could give without even being asked. Kind words have
the power to heal in miraculous ways.

What if?

“Your mistake does not define who you are...you are your possibilities”
— Oprah Winfrey

"What if" stories are pure speculation because something else has
already occurred. It's just guessing. But there are times in one's life
that we when reach certain crossroad events, that due to a decision
taken, or not taken, a chance encounter, whatever, we go one way
instead of another.

These many paths taken and decisions made are the ones that create who
we are today. They form our knowledge, abilities, skills, and emotions.
And from time to time, we may allow ourselves to wonder about how
things might have worked out differently if we'd made different
decisions along the path. That glimmer of "second chances" to do it
again another way.

In the present moment, however, lamenting about the "what might have
been" will not help us with who we actually are right now and the
decisions we must make today for all the possibilities that are before
us. But thinking back with a thought of gratitude for all the diverse
experiences we have encountered along the way, all the people who may
have helped us, and for the strength that we continue to have to keep
going on in our wonderful journey of life, is a good sign that we know
a little of what life is all about.

Healing old wounds

<fontfamily><param>Arial</param>"The divine flow is like the flow of a
river, however many rivers nowadays are polluted, full of junk or
simply stagnating. It is time to take care of them - meaning it is
time to take care of our emotional bodies and to look at them as
rivers, where stuff got thrown in over the years. For some, there is
so much built up, that it works like a big dam which does not allow
any flow of energy. You can easily recognize the flow of energy, by
looking at how much love is flowing in your life, how much happiness,
how much time do you have available, how much money is flowing etc."

— Quantum Angel

It may be time to ask yourself how polluted is your river of emotions?
Has there been some junk and pollution thrown in there when you
weren't paying attention? Are my emotions contaminated and perhaps
poisoning others that come in contact with them?

One quick way to figure out the answers is to look at how much
discomfort or pain you have in your life. Is it all the time, only in
certain situations, only dealing with certain people? We are like our
planet, and over the years of use and misuse the environment now needs
our protection.

Science shows us that we do release chemicals in response to our
emotions. Over time, if these chemicals are not cleared out, they
build up and can become toxic to us. So take action and break down the
dams that are restricting the flow of energy in your emotional river
and get the vitality of living back on track.</fontfamily>

Letting go of the outcome

"Be open to everything and not attached to anything."
— Dr. Wayne Dyer

Thinking back on the things that disappointed me the most in life, they
were all situations that I really had set my heart on getting or
accomplishing. And when they didn't happen the way I wanted them to
happen— expected them to happen — I felt let down. In comes the lesson
of "letting go of the outcome". We don't always know exactly what the
end result will be, and for that reason, we need to detach ourselves
from the final outcome.

Take, for example, a relationship that is ended by the other person. I
remember going through this and thinking it was the end of the world.
THIS was the only person I was ever meant to be with! Only to end up
meeting my future husband a few years later... Maybe I didn't know the
best outcome for myself way back then after all.

So, having an attitude of positive expectancy does create miraculous
results. But don't get caught up or attached to a specific end result.
Continue with your actions, and know that they are the right things for
you to do at the present moment, but surrender any attachment you have
for the outcome. It's the attachment to a specific outcome that may
bring us pain. You may not realize an equal or even greater outcome
that is for your greater good.